Monday, February 27, 2017

L) Day 159 more or less ( Feb 21st)

Tomorrow is another fun day- stent replacement day. Yipeee!! Nothing like feeling like you are pissing broken glass to take your mind off the other mundane details of your life.
  But I'm running ahead of myself. Today I finally got my car back after 20 days in the shop.
  I always thought that, unlike a timing belt, which can snap, a timing chain was virtually invincible. It seems that under certain circumstances they can get out of sync. and that, apparently, is what mine did.
  The original bill was apparently north of $3000 but they discovered a "silent recall" at the same time which ultimately dropped the bill to just over $1200. The silent recall fixed the tapping sound in my engine that I had been complaining about for 3 years-a tapping sound that they initially said didn't actually exist! They later admitted to it's existence but insisted it was a normal sound that would eventually go away. By eventually I presume they meant after the engine seized up and died but, for now the engine is running smoothly and based on current circumstances, might actually outlive me!! LOL
Tomorrow's surgery is at 9am which means it is one of the earlier ones, thus increasing the chances that it will actually be on time. Regardless, I have to be a the hospital at 7:30. The extra 90 minutes is required to prep. you, meaning check your vital signs to make sure you are physically able to survive the procedure. They also find out which is the largest vein in your arm and then they try to insert a slightly larger needle into that vein, being sure to wiggle it just enough to leave a bruise the size of a filet mignon so that you have something else to focus on besides the pain in ying yang!!!!
  That whole process takes about 12 minutes so you get to spend the rest of the 78 minutes laying half naked on a gurney with nothing to do besides count the dots in the ceiling tiles and getting anxious any time someone in a white coat comes within 3 feet of you.
   At least in Stratford they give you a smock that covers all of your naughty bits, unlike LHSC where they make sure there is at least 2 inches where the ends don't overlap. They do that so they don't have to give the nursing staff a raise. To explain: picture yourself in one of these outfits, walking barefoot to the washroom, pushing your IV pole with one hand while using the other to hold your dignity and your gown together while your ass is, by and large ( and in some cases by and even larger!)  as Dylan so famously said-" Blowin' in the wind.
   Now picture yourself trying to open the bathroom door with your third hand- what? you don't have one? Exactly! These nurses are so busy laughing through most of their shift that they forgot they haven't had a raise in 5 years
A quick footnote to the above:
   The stent surgery turned out to be a lot less painful than the first procedure and my recovery was a lot faster. Dr Hussey suggested that the next time they might consider doing it without actually putting me under- just a heavy sedative instead!  And probably if a fourth procedure is required down the road they'll probably give me a can of Solarcaine, a crochet hook and a do it yourself manual. Here's hoping not!!!!!!

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